There’s something that almost every filmmaker has deep in his or her figurative closet – a small and shameful item that one hopes will never again see the light of day, and that item is (sotto voce), the “director” photo.

This has happened to me, and I don’t think I’m alone here. You’re getting some press because you have a new movie out! So, a photographer from the local newspaper comes over and wants to take your photo for an article. The photographer needs to get a photo of you being a director, obviously, but sitting in your apartment doing research isn’t exactly where they expected to find you.

Herein lies the rub. In this situation I’ve tried to explain a number of times, “Honestly, most of me being a director is sitting in my apartment making phone calls and sending email.” It doesn’t look that cool, but it’s the non-glamorous truth.

This revelation is usually met with a look of intense disappointment from the local newspaper photographer. She doesn’t care – she’s gotta get her shot, and then probably take seven other pictures before the end of the day.

It’s at this point that you start to notice the photographer looking around your office for a prop. And it is in this exact moment that thousands and thousands of embarrassing “director” photos are born.

She asks, “Any chance I could just get you to hold up this roll of film over here like your looking at it?”

“OK, I guess I’m fine with that. Does this look OK?” All the while I’m thinking, “It doesn’t matter that sometimes I shoot film for my documentaries. I have never once sat in my office looking at the negative.” What can I say, I guess I’m a sucker.

The embarrassing “holding up film” photo of Sam Green.

Even better is when the photographer looks around your place for a prop and happens to spot a camera! It doesn’t really matter that this Super 8 camera hasn’t functioned since the late 20th century. In fact this camera says “movie director!” way more than any of those newfangled models.

The embarrassing “not my current camera” photo of John Dilley.

The worst case scenario is that the photographer looks around for a prop and can’t find one. Then you’re totally screwed! That’s when one might be asked, “Can you do that hand gesture that film directors do . . . you know, the one making a frame with your hands? Please?” In this case, the photographer caught director Mark Decena while in character as JR McCord for ‘Unflinching Triumph’ – hair dyed and all.

The embarrassing “director hands” photo of Mark Decena.

In rock and roll, there’s a term that I love: a “brick waller.” This describes a band photo that is taken in front of the completely cliché and lame backdrop of a brick wall. There are thousands and thousands of these bad band photos that have been taken over the years, and theres even websites now devoted to them. Perhaps it’s time for the film world equivalent: www.thedirectorphoto.com

So, what’s on your mind? Are these the most embarrassing “director” photos ever? Do you have a “director” photo? Share it with us on our Facebook Page wall with a caption of why it is embarrassing to you and we’ll add it to our “director” photo album. Also, let us know your thoughts below.